Escape to Space
by xXLunaYierkyXx
Summary: Perhaps it was a mistake, but turning back isn't an option anymore. No matter what you do, you'll never escape him. Forever he will haunt you. You can either continue running, or turn and face him. You can do it alone, or perhaps, open your heart to someone else to raise you to the pinnacle of strength to fight back against the one person who held you back from soaring.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the star trek characters. This is a story rated "M" for a few violent scenes later on, as well as some sexual themes. Do not read if you are under the age of 16.

The light of the mid morning sun leaked lazily through the cracked white curtain. I lay on my side, watching the light sink lower as the sun rose in the sky. It inched so slowly, but I could make out its change in position. It took the shape of an obtuse triangle as it leaked through the curtains from the window that sat on the wall some distance from the foot of the bed.

The sleeping body next to me shifted slightly as a cloud passed over the sun, darkening the room slightly. I knew he was waking up soon, and if I was to do anything, it had to be now. With an anxious beating heart, I slowly get out of bed, ruffling through the drawers for any clothes I can take with minimum sound. Three pairs of pants, six shirts and a few tank tops. I could take some shoes and socks, but I don't know how well I'd be able to open the bottom drawer for underwear, since it's the one that creaked the loudest. I needed underwear though.

The drawer eased open, sliding and screeching ever so slightly. My heart pounded as I knew that if I was caught doing this, it would be my head in the cold bathtub. Maybe even the toilet. If I was lucky and begged, he'd only hit me a few times.

 _How could I have let him do this to me? I'm a human being. I can't let someone else dictate and control my life. This is going to end, and I have to end it._

The musky room brightened once more, and the jumbled and hung-over mass on the bed shifted again, grunting. Throwing what I could into my large duffle bag I had placed strategically out of sight the night before, I head down stairs for a few more essentials. I shuffle through the wallet left on the counter and take all the cash he had. $73 wasn't bad, and I could get a few tanks of gas if need be, but getting to the academy wouldn't take that much. The rest I could use for food.

I rush into the kitchen, hearing the pounding of my heart in my ears as I thought of the pain I would feel if he were to wake up right now. I had to leave. Now. I grab a few snack bags out of the fridge and pantry that which I had made and hidden in advance for this specific reason alone.

I knew there was nothing more I could take except for a few bottles of water, which I threw with the food into the duffle bag. I took one last minute to count my things. Six shirts, four tank tops, three pairs of pants, four pairs of granny panties, four pairs of my best lingerie, three bras, one old, ratty and comfortable, and the other two being rather nice. They were gifts from him. He mainly gave them to me for his own pleasure, however. This wasn't exactly a good feeling, wearing them, but I had to have them.

Along with several food bags, and two bottles of water. I had two pairs of shoes, sneakers and a pair of low heels that I only wore when out to house parties with him. If I had to look nice for my job that I was offered, I needed something like that. I had my few worldly trinkets that I had stored the night before as well as jewelry. They included a picture of my little brother with my mother, my wedding picture, a necklace from him, my favorite three sets of earrings, my wedding ring, a pill box from my sister, and my glasses case.

Looking at it, I realized I needed my own wallet with my keys and license, as well as toiletries.

 _Fuck the toiletries; I could just buy some cheap ones when I get there._

My wallet I had left on the counter next to his. Looking inside of my own, I found absolutely no money. Of course not, he was the only one who worked; therefore he said he was the only one able to carry money.

My keys.

 _Shit. They're still upstairs._

My heart was racing as I climb those wretched creaking stairs for what I hoped was the last time. Reaching the bedroom, I was thrilled to see the dumb bastard still asleep in bed. Our wedding bed, the bed he too often forced me into for his own pleasure. The bed he cheated on me in, several times.

 _And you let it happen. Because you felt you had no one, when all you had to do was run._

My heart was pounding in my ears. I couldn't take this feeling. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. But all I could to was tip-toe my way across the room and grab my keys, holding them in my palm so as not to jingle them. They scraped the table, and he rolled over. I looked one last time at him, looking at his features.

The flashes of his angry face, as he paced and broke anything of value in our small home on the farm. The face I had once loved, and now just wanted to rip to pieces, as he had done to me so many times. The scars all over my body were a marking of what he had done to me physically. But now, the scars in my head were the ones that held me back from escaping this hell. However, that's all changing now.

I walk out of the bedroom. I walk down the hall, rounding the wooden boundary pole of the staircase, and noiselessly walk down the stairs, avoiding the parts that I know creak under weight. My heart was still pounding away in my chest, so much so that I could feel it thumping against my lungs. I found that as I went, my steps quickened. I needed to leave. Out. I needed out.

My duffle bag zipped, my pajamas still on, I walked out the door. In a last minute thought, I took off the wedding ring I had put on, and left it on the porch railing, where I had stood so many times contemplating the marriage and what I had gotten in to.

San Francisco. Here I come.

I unlocked the door to my car, a high riding SUV. It was the only car we had other than his truck. An insufficient gas guzzling car that was older than dirt. Most people had hover cars, but he had a huge obsession with the old wheel cars. So, that's what we had. I couldn't bear taking that damn truck. No, I'm not a country wife anymore. I'm going back to the city. Back to school, back to a place like where I grew up. I refused to associate myself with this place anymore.

As I pulled out of the dirt driveway, and the vast road appeared in front of me, I sat in the middle of the deserted street for just another moment. Looking back at the farm house, I took in the last three years of my life, and used all of my anger and energy to hit the gas pedal under my sneakers. The engine revved under what felt like my own power. The rubber of the tires burned and the car sped down the long dirt road. I was a long way from San Fran, but the more distance that I put between myself and that fucking house, the more secure I felt. The more… _safe_ I felt… It was an intoxicating feeling that filled me to the core. Safety. _Freedom_. Holy shit. I'm finally free from the dark cloud over my life.

The car burned under me, with the ferocity that I felt in my heart. I turned on the radio. It was set on his favorite station, now transferred no longer by radio, but by advanced subspace waves, that was just put into the car some twenty years ago. The car was so old, that it had to be worked on for several days before we could actually take the car back.

But none of that matters anymore. I change the station to the old rock section, instead of country. I always hated country. I'll never have to listen to it again.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2

This car got old on me quickly. As I travelled, the memories of the car travelled with me. So, at the first gas station I could find, I left the car. I got everything out of the car that I had brought in.

I walked into the small store, lit with cheap bulbs of the countryside. As advanced as technology was, sometimes, people just loved to stick to the old ways. From here on out, I would hitch-hike. It's much harder to track a hitch-hiker. Plus, I don't have to continue thinking about him. He's in my past. Never again would I have to look at him, see him, and be controlled by him. Still, there was the possibility that he could find her. He could pull her back to that hellhole. But only if she let him.

And he wouldn't.

I waltzed around the station, looking at cheap gum, and several sweets hanging from racks. There was no clerk at the counter, only a machine where you scan and pay for whatever you buy. So, I was left alone. I would stay for only about half an hour before I would give up and get back in the car, just in case he tries to chase me.

However, it wouldn't come to that. Within five minutes, a hover car pulled in to the parking lot. It lowered to the ground, shutting off, and the operator stepped out of the sleek blue car. They walked inside and we immediately locked eyes.

"You a hitch-hiker?" The first words to me.

"Yeah. You got a ride?"

"Yeah. Just gotta get some stuff."

"You alone?"

"Not many other people to be with out here, most go to the bigger cities for work. You know how the agriculture is now-a-days. Mass-production is a thing."

"Yeah I got you." I tried not to look him in the eye. I remembered _him_ telling me not to ever look another man in the eyes, for its disrespect to him. But now he's not here. I can do what I want. I straighten my gaze, and look directly into his eyes as the next sentence rolls off of his scruffy tongue. He was an older man, obviously having lived in the country area for quite a while. He had a rough beard and moustache, and wore the common country long-sleeves and boot-cut elastic breathing fabric that for the love of god, I couldn't think of the name of. It was good for maneuverability, and for long labored hours. There weren't many farmers anymore, what with mass-machine production doing most of the agricultural growing.

"Where are you headed?" He walked to the pay machine, without making eye contact.

"As close to San Fran as you can get me." I looked him right in the eye, and he respectfully matched my gaze.

"I can take you for quite a while, I'm heading into a city along the way, and I can drop you off there. From there you could probably get transportation the rest of the way there." He was matter-of-fact and it was very refreshing to be talked to like I matter. Something I can't believe I gave up just to stay with… him.

"Let's go," he said, heading for the door.

I stepped into the fresh country air that smelled slightly of chemicals. The air-pollutant plants set up everywhere by some Act in the last century had set up a required amount of air purification facilities in country-side areas. It was a smell to get used to.

"You can put your stuff in the back if you want. Or by your feet. Shotgun is open for you." He paused, looking at the car I had left on the side of the parking lot, "Is that your car?"

"No, I was dropped here," I lied, not wanting to be tied to that thing anymore.

He shrugged, opening the door. As we settled in, the car turned on and lifted off the ground. We pulled out, and sped down the road, the same way I would have gone.

In the rear view mirror, I caught a glimpse of a high-speed wheel car in the distant expanse behind the gas station. My heart started to race again, thinking how it could be him coming after me. I shrunk down in my seat, not wanting anything to do with it anymore… Not wanting to think about it.

Both the car, my car, and the station disappeared from view soon enough, as did the feeling of being held down to my old life. It was over. I'm finally free. With this, I sat back up in the passenger seat of the sleek blue hover car, next to a husky older man who drove silently, listening to music through the player in his car. And there we sat, enjoying the silence, and the long expanse of road.

"Hey, wake up," I was shaken from a hasty sleep as the rumbling of the car had soothed me. "We're getting close to the city."

I sat up, rubbing my eyes under my glasses. Building rose above me like great giants that I read as a child, the stone giant. But for me, it was the glass giant. Buildings branching into the sky took me by surprised. We had already entered the city.

"I'm going to drop you at the trans station. From there you can get a transport to San Fran."

At the station, I thanked the man profusely, who refused to take money from me, saying he was going the same way as me.

"What's your name?" My question was out of the blue, but I needed to know.

"Benty. Benty Oliver."

"Benty. I'm Elle. Thank you. I won't forget you."

And with that, he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, guys. First off, thank you for the reviews. I know it's been forever since i originally posted the first parts to this story. I wont get into what happened, but I lost my account for a little while and I had to get it back through a long and painful method. But I'm back! And i hope you guys enjoy this next chapter. It's kind of long, but I hope that's a good thing. Enjoy.**

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Ch 3

The transport wasn't longer than two hours. Rural Midwest to urban San Fran, it didn't matter how far I went, as long as I never came back.

A thought was brought to my mind as the sun finally reached its peak and began to sink towards the horizon of the mountains of the Vegas Valley.

Perhaps, the man I had finally left behind would try to follow me. I knew this was a definite possibility. However, how far would he go? Internationally? Globally? Inter-galactic, perhaps?

This was frightening. But maybe, I just wanted to find a reason to leave this planet behind. It wasn't uncommon for people to escape the law, or to escape their past by hopping systems. I'd only been into space twice, when I was a child. I had gotten married young, just after I graduated college. I planned on getting a job, having kids, and growing old with him. This was before I knew who he really was.

I needed to leave. My degree was three years old, only. I could still apply to Starfleet academy. However, I didn't want to be tied down to one place indefinitely. I couldn't risk him finding me, and having to drop out of school just to escape him. I'd end up giving up all of my opportunities that I would have developed up to that point. That, above all else, would be a shame. I had already stopped once, and I couldn't do it again.

Still, I decided to apply anyway. I had been accepted almost immediately. The only problem was that I was sent a letter in the mail. So, as a result, I had to check the mail every day before _he_ got home for my letter, so that he wouldn't find out what I had done.

The transport soared low over the Vegas Valley Mountains, at speeds that, centuries ago, wouldn't have been even considered possible. In ten minutes, we were turning north slightly, heading for San Francisco.

The transport was oddly shaped, and I hadn't seen many in the past few years, just some passing travelers, on their way from west coast to east coast, and they were higher in the sky than ours was right now. Often, when I saw them pass from the window of the farm house bedroom, or the porch that overlooked the road down the large hill that it rested on, I had contemplated where they were going. I wondered if in some way, some day, I would be able to be one of them. Now that question was answered.

I had fallen asleep on the transport, we arrived at the station in San Francisco. Getting off, I took my duffle bag, and walked from the station to the nearest bus stop. The hover cars zoomed down the paved street, long since driven on with actual tires. The buildings towered over me, making me feel even smaller in this wide, wide world. Sitting on the bench of the stop, I waited for the next bus. Looking up at the clock positioned over the bench, it said the next bus would be less than five minutes along. So I had lucked out and not missed it. The underside of all of the hover cars glowed the same bright blue. The almost silently zoomed by, floating about three feet off of the ground.

The bus honked, pulled up, and opened the doors.

"How much?" My first question was heard clearly from the outside of the bus.

"Did you not pick up a ticket?" The driver said, and I almost thought that it was annoyed, until I looked up and noticed that it was a machine driving the bus.

"Oh," I said, looking at the ticket station that sat right next to the stop, which I had neglected to notice before. It was also mechanical.

I quickly paid for a ticket, got on the bus, and deposited it into the slot. The door to the bus then closed, and a small tune continued to play as I took a seat towards the back of the bus. There were only a few other passengers.

I looked up at the sign, which depicted the next three stops. Luckily, the academy grounds were third on the list. It would take maybe ten minutes to reach the other side of San Fran, where the academy sat.

I looked at the other passengers on the bus, noticing the several different alien races. There was a Ferengi, a Romulan, an Acamarian, and a Klingon which looked half human.

They all looked down at their own laps, minding their own business.

Well, something caught my attention. The Romulan was wearing a Starfleet Academy uniform. So they were going the same place as me.

Now that I think of it, I had no idea if this person, whoever he was, was Romulan or Vulcan. What was the difference anyway? I never learned. As the bus zoomed down the street, passing cars and other buses alike, I thought back to my common core classes in college.

"Several races now inhabit planet Earth," my professor had said, "From Romulans to Vulcans, Earth was one of the main trafficking spots for travel to different spots surrounding."

A classmate spoke up, "Aren't Romulans and Vulcans the same?"

A large sigh echoed throughout the lecture hall. Obviously, this was an incorrect statement. But not too far from the truth.

"Romulans and Vulcans have the same mother ancestors, however, during the Time of Awakening, they had split into two different cultures."

I thought on this for a while as I sat on the bus. My memory never failed. I guess having an eidetic memory wasn't bad, and definitely was why I got my degree at 17. However, marrying at 18 was the mistake that set me back so far that I was where I was meant to be, had I been "normal".

The bus stopped, and I realized that it was already time to get off. The Vulcan/Romulan stood up, walking off of the bus, and I following.

Most thanked the bus driver, I assumed, but this man didn't. He simply left. He refused to acknowledge the mechanical bus driver's "Have a nice day!" remark, and simply walked off towards what looked like the lodgings of the campus. However, I had to meet with the facility manager before I could do anything else, so I walked the other way, away from the lodgings, and thought how maybe, if I worked here long enough, I would learn the difference between Romulans and Vulcans. And maybe, I would meet the other one again.

Walking into the administration building, I looked around for the front desk. A charming voice spoke up from somewhere close.

"Over here!"

I walked around the corner to see and Denobulan woman standing there, all smiles and bright pale hair.

"How can I help you?" Her face was rigid but still young and youthful, and I felt homely next to her. I was, in fact, still wearing pajamas.

I looked down at the desk, refusing to make eye contact. "I'm a new student," I paused, not looking up, "I was told to come in to the administration office and speak to someone about it."

I could hear the smile in her voice, "Sure thing, honey! So, this is the deal: I need your name, and the code sent to you in the mail that you received after you applied, so I can register you in the system for the upcoming semester."

Shit. I forgot the letter on the damn counter, under the bread basket. Shit, shit, shit! He might find the letter. Too late now, I can't go back. "I'm sorry," I say, looking at my feet, "I don't have the letter. I did remember the code, though."

"Oh, well, perfect. Just write it down and fill out the rest of the information on the form so that we can match you to the database." She was bright and beautiful, with amazing brown eyes.

For half an hour, she gave hilarious commentary on being a student here, and how it was definitely going to be an experience to remember. She typed into the computer different information, logging that I had officially checked in, only three weeks before this semester's classes started. Along with my school permit, I was handed a lanyard with a key card. I was confused as to what it was for.

"Ma'am," I said, interrupting.

"Please, Jay is just fine by me."

"This key here," I said, holding up the mystery card, "What is it for?"

She looked at all three miniature key cards that hung around my neck, then to the one I held in my hand, and put on a face of acknowledgement.

"Ah, that's your lodging key. Since you've applied for the full-time semester studentship, you'll be expected to live on campus. Is that a problem?"

I was enlightened, and very glad that I had taken this opportunity. I hadn't even considered where I would be sleeping that night. I was pretty sure I could just take the bus to the nearest hotel and camp out until I found permanent lodging. But this was even better.

"I could actually show you where it is, since the office will be closing soon. You know, it _is_ almost seven." She looked me in the eye, and for the first time, I returned this.

"That would be," I paused again, "Great." I found myself smiling back at her beautiful face.

"Awesome! Now I have a really good reason to close up. First things first, I should show you where the main road intersection is, and then I'll direct you to the lodgings, and where you'll be staying. Sound good?"

I nodded, and she hopped in spot with excitement. I had no idea how she could be so happy, but I welcomed the good atmosphere. It made me excited. I was finally going to live out my dream of getting my PhD.

As we walked out of the building, and she slid the key into the card slot, I turned so as not to know the pass code she used to lock the building down.

"Oh honey, you're so cute, _but,_ we don't care." Her voice is peppy and inviting.

We walked back to the main road of the complex, which led to a flowery promenade, and had a circular road around it. From here, you could see the beautifully built academy along with its branching buildings, each for a different department.

Jay pointed me towards where the library sat, and where the lodgings sat. First, the main class building, where all of the classes were held, then, to the lodgings. She took me to the large building, which sat slightly lifted on a hill, with a rectangular - and fairly large - parking lot sitting in front of it. It was closed right now, and obviously had been for a while, considering there had been no classes over the summer.

We walked for a while through the grassy promenade surrounding the parking lot of the main class building. Obviously, it was meant for your general classes, such as mathematics and your basic sciences. It was the branching buildings that depicted different departments that I found very impressive. The main science building branched off into specific science buildings, which branched into even more specific smaller buildings for med students and departments like that.

Looking at the cultural building, I noticed how it towered several stories over the others. It was decorated with colorful banners and several screens depicting notices of the school.

I couldn't help but admire just how beautiful the architecture was, noticing hints of other races in the mix of pure white walls, then decorated with several sculptures, mantelpieces, and the like. Several statues sat in front of the main gate to the actual school, depicting the founders of Starfleet. I couldn't help but marvel at the beautiful buildings and masterful artwork.

"So the lodges that you'll be staying at are actually the linguistic students' lodgings. Starfleet apparently didn't account for so many students wanting to study your field, which I quite enjoy myself, so the science building is full, but the linguistics building has a few openings for you. Apparently, you get to be on the third floor, which I would hate if we didn't have turbo lifts. But thankfully, we do. You're in room 314. So that means it's on the third floor. It's even, so you'll be on the left side. Each building is T-shaped, so there are always windows in every single apartment."

Jay's rantings were welcome, considering I was a very quiet. Mainly because I just didn't feel like talking.

She decided to continue, as we approached the buildings, "So each apartment, when you get one, is sparsely furnished with the essentials. A table, two chairs, couch, mounted TV, a bed, and a bathroom with some much needed toiletries. A few rolls of toilet paper and shower gel and such. Oh! And you also get a dresser completely empty, and an end table.

Some apartments might have a bookshelf, but I wouldn't count on that."

I nodded as we rounded a corner to the street which held a row of identical buildings. Three buildings on one side, which were labeled "Medical Science" and three on the other side which were labeled "Linguistics". This puzzled me. Where were the teachers staying?

My question was answered as if Jay had read my mind, "So this is where all of the students live. Well, most. It's not a requirement. The teachers live on the other side of campus, just to keep teacher privacy and to make sure none of the students sneak between the teaching lodges and their own. Horny teens mixed with real adults are not a good thing. Especially when alcohol gets involved."

I grimace, "That happens?"

"More often than I'd like to admit." Her voice was curt, but she was smiling. "So I live in the very last building on the med side. You live in the middle building on the lang side. Tomorrow morning, since you're basically free, we could wake up early and I could actually show you where you can eat and some other things that this campus offers. Sound good?"

"I should also tell you that, since you've signed up for student loans, you should find your first loan check in your mailbox, next to your door, which will be unlockable with your room key as well. If it's not there, I'll take care of it tomorrow." Jay seemed almost annoyed, as if loan checks were commonly "misplaced".

I nod, and Jay hugs me, jogging off to her building, leaving me painfully alone, and on my own to finding my own place.

The rows of buildings took up almost this entire side of the campus, each with different towering buildings which held different students according to their field of study. These buildings were incredibly large.

I walk into the second building, which has the same door frame color as my key card. The building was white, except for the pale red of the door frames and window frames. Bright lights illuminated the entire street, as the sun was well passed the horizon. Walking in to the building, you could definitely tell it was for adults. The decorations where modern but not bright, with plants lining the halls, between doors.

The turbo lift was smooth and had windows to the outside on the other side. There was only one turbo lift, at the end of the hall from the door. I pushed the "3" on the panel, and the lift smoothly lifted me to the third floor.

I got off, looking for my room. It was at the end of the hall, past the branching off hallway, and right next to one other room. There was a room at the end of the hall, as well. So I had two neighbors.

On my own room door sat a small name plate, which had my name printed on the front of it. It was etched in tiny gold letters.

I look at the numbers on either side of my room, and hope that my neighbors aren't wild and rowdy.

Hm. Perhaps they're nice. Or perhaps they keep to themselves. Either one would be perfectly fine with me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello again. Thank you for reading my story. I do enjoy writing it. I hope you don't mind long chapters because this one is quite long. longer than the others, i think. Anyway, enjoy the chapter and I look forward to the reviews. You all were so friendly last time and i really appreciate any criticism or comments you want to give me. Anyway, without further ado, we're off.**

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Ch 4

The morning light leaked from the window above my head. The thought of the nightmare that had crept into my mind the night before still hung fresh in my mind.

The alarm clock beeped annoyingly on the end-table.

I whipped off the blankets, standing up. I had almost put on all of my clothes, when I heard a small rap on my door. I guess Jay was serious about showing me where to go.

I zip up my pants, one of the three pairs that I had in the duffle bag I had thrown on the floor. I opened the door, dressed in a pair of jeans, button-front shirt under a sweater, and my lanyard slung over my neck. I had my wallet in my back pocket, and I was greeted by the familiar denobulan girl that I had met the day before.

"Ready? I have this great place to eat," Jay said, with a beautiful smile on her face.

"Yeah, let's go," I said, smiling faintly back.

I walked outside of the building, trailing behind Jay. She leads me to the parking lot of the complex, and motions to a very expensive-looking car.

"Wow," I said, unsure of how to feel. It was kind of insane, considering she was just a staff member at the academy. And a student. I had no idea how much I'd be getting for student loans. It can't be enough for a car, anyway.

"Get in, Elle. It won't hurt you," she giggled, and got in the car. I followed, sitting in the passenger seat of her car. She starts it, and it lifts from the ground. We pull out of the parking lot and glide down the street, where we're surrounded by different department buildings, all probably housing students by this time. "I know this place; it's pretty popular for breakfast. They've got great raktajino. And the wing slugs are actually from the Rigel sector!"

"I think Rigel is a star, not a sector." My voice was harsh from just getting out of bed literally ten minutes ago.

"Whatever. It's good food." She sped along, turning onto the main street. There was a traffic circle, "round about" the name was, turning around a great tree at what seemed like the center of the campus. It was a giant campus, with a huge main building. It had many different branching roads, which Jay turned on to. Over the road lay a sign that read, "Consumption and Enjoyment".

We pulled through the hedged road, off into another traffic ring which encircled a large round area; all set with different restaurants, bars, and brunch areas, as well as way too many coffee shops. There was also a main building with a sign on the front, "Starfleet Café".

I pointed it out to Jay, who remarked, "That's for the poor kids who have a meal plan and can't afford good food."

I nodded, and laughed inwardly. That would probably be me, knowing how terrible loans were going to be. The memory of the letter with my small loan of $200 for the entire month still hung in my mind. I'd have to get a job here too.

We pulled into a parking lot that was on the inner circle of the area, parking right outside a bright yellow building, lit with modern décor and a _lot_ of Starfleet students.

Walking inside, the man standing at the counter was Andorian. He noticed Jay, and smiled. "Ja'mon! It's so good to see you again!"

Jay walked over, giving the man a hug over the counter. She gestured me over. "Irehr Th'chorrar is a really good friend of mine," Jay said, holding her arm around the Andorian. He smiled brightly. I had always believed that Andorians were savage people, but then again, I hadn't heard much about them except for the petty remarks _he_ made about the Andorian _he_ worked with.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Elle." My name caught in my throat, and I coughed.

"Choking on your words? I might believe you're actually in love with me," Irehr said, winking at me. "Call me Ire. Like Cheshire cat, except without the 'chesh' part." I loved how he referenced old cinema.

I smile, and nod. Jay speaks up, "So, you've got a table for us, right?" The Andorian nods, pointing over his shoulder to a booth in the corner, which had a "reserved" sign posted on it.

Sitting down, a mechanical server readily took two orders of raktajino from us, and quickly returned with them, where I sipped my coffee, confident that I could pay for it. But I couldn't spend too much. I only had just fewer than seventy dollars for the entire pre-paycheck time.

As the waiter came back around, I looked at the menu, deciding just to follow whatever Jay orders, since she has been here before.

"Wing slugs, please," her voice bright and cheerful, just like her blouse, which was blue and very revealing. I grimaced, unsure if wing slugs would be a dish I would like. But, as they came back and I took my first bite, I found that it wasn't too bad.

Breakfast was fast, just the way I preferred it. Sooner than I realized, I had paid a fair sum for my part, and we were on the road, out to the library. Jay and I had decided that the best place for me to get a job was at the library. Considering nobody wanted to sit answering questions for dumb students who couldn't figure out how to use the lift, or the computer, or navigate the library. I thought it would be perfect. I love books.

"I'll see you around, okay?" Her voice was sing-song and beautiful to match her looks. Her pale skin may be a little too exposed, but perhaps I should be the one who stops staring at it and just turn around to leave.

Jay had to leave for a bit. Said she had some school business to take care of while I see about getting a job at the library.

"See you, Jay." My voice softens, and I turn to enter the library, already noticing how much people needed the library, as people were often coming and going.

I walk up, opening the two front double doors, and walk inside, a gust of very cold air hitting me as I broke the threshold.

As I make it to the front desk, I notice the elder man sitting at there, obviously the head librarian. I ask the librarian there if he was, in fact, the head librarian.

"Yes ma'am. How can I help you?" He seemed sweet enough, and I wouldn't mind taking over this little part of his job if it meant that I got paid.

I spent the next half an hour talking about my interest in the job. He listened critically, and stopped me after I said I would be down for low wages, as long as I had a job. He seemed to want to accept me as soon as possible.

"So when can I start?" I was actually very excited to get started, if it meant I got a paycheck anytime sooner.

"As soon as you want. When I set you in for the position in the computer, I'll send you an email. Can you fill out this form, please?

I spent the next half an hour filling out the questions. Some of these seemed useless and irrelevant, but I guess I liked the little contemplation it gave me.

Until it came to a question I didn't like. _"Are you married? And if so, please describe this person."_

I didn't want to lie. I don't lie, at all. Actually, I'm almost brutal with the truth. But this was the only exception. I replied with a curt " _No"._

I filled out the rest of the meaningless questions, and returned it to the man at the desk.

"Alright, well, my name is Peter Ramming. You can call me Pete. As soon as I enter you information in, you can start working. I'll send an email to your student PADD as soon as I have, and you'll be given the rest of the information." He smiled, taking the information document from my hand.

"Okay, thank you!" I said my goodbyes, and left.

* * *

"Hey," the man said, almost too low to be heard, "Are you the head librarian here?"

I responded, "No, sir. However, I am the assistant. Is there a way that I can help you?"

He beamed, as if not expecting me to respond as politely as I did. "I'm the assistant security officer for this sector of the campus!" He flashed his lanyard, with a clear identification tag on it. It looked legit. "So you're a new librarian. I knew the one before you. He was kind of a cranky old man with nothing better to do with his life, always shushing people and making others uncomfortable. I hope you won't be like that. I think you're really cute, and it would be a shame for a face that nice to hold a personality that sour."

His long flow of words took me by surprise. "Oh, well, I don't consider myself rotten," my gaze wandered behind him, where a line had begun to grow. He followed my gaze.

"Sorry, just wanted to introduce myself. I'll see you around! The name's Ken Nasino. You're Elvie?"

"Elle is fine. I'll see you around, Ken," my smile matched the one I had given to Jay on our departure.

"Kenny is fine!" and that was the last he said to me as he jogged off out of the library. I found it funny that he had come all this way just to say hi to a librarian.

The man that replaced James cleared his throat, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I looked up to see a familiar face. It was the man from the bus. He wore a lanyard, which I had recognized the picture of. It was definitely the man from the bus. His name was clearly printed on front as well.

"Mr. Spock, how may I help you?"


	5. Chapter 5

Ch 5

"I would like to know if there are any study rooms available right now."

"Yes sir, here's your key, it tells you which room right on the back."

With that, Mr. Spock had left. He was almost… Rude.

Vulcan. Definitely Vulcan. I knew because of his speech pattern. Curt, to the point. I knew he had to be a professor as well, considering he wore a professor's ID.

Several hours of managing the library, I had discovered that the entire academy was full of horny students just trying to find a quiet place to copulate.

I'm talking specifically about the study rooms. On the third floor, there were halls of study rooms that students could rent out. To avoid students from having sex in these rooms, and, mainly to make sure no one overstayed their 2-hour session of "studying", each room was equipped with speakers, where you could send recorded messages through specifying that their time was up, or that they needed to leave the room for another reason, which I would have to provide through the headset that came with the responsibility.

It wasn't all bad, though. I also watched people study, read, and find as much enjoyment as I did in the books found within the library. In a way, it was refreshing. However, the top two floors of the library were the hardest to manage. That's where all of the eBooks were, and where all of the computer desks sat. Keeping up with all of the people that just came to game and mess up the place was difficult.

At the end of the day, I was happy to leave and get away, but not without checking in with Pete first. And perhaps getting a few books for myself.

On my way out, I loaded up a computer with my tag number, and checked out three books on random things, just to keep me busy on my down time.

Walking out, I held the books on my hip. The largest book I held was about the surrounding systems to Earth's system. The second was a fiction book by an author I had known for a while. A talented young man who worked wonders with words.

The third was one on Vulcan cultural history. I had no idea why I had picked it up, but it peaked my interest the moment I saw it while searching for something similar in the interface.

I walked outside into the brisk air, the sun sat on the horizon, allowing me adequate lighting to walk the half-mile to my new home. It was nice, walking back down the hedged area of the branching streets surrounding the large circle intersection. Once there, I circled to where the main street from the city sat, and walked down, turning to on the street to the lodgings, and walking all the way back. I entered my building, and stood on the turbo lift, only to see another person enter the building just as the doors were about to close.

I would have let them close, had I not seen his rather attractive face, and noticed the color of the key around his neck. It was my floor. Swiftly, I held the doors from closing.

"Much appreciated," the human man said, standing on the lift with me. After a slightly awkward silence on the lift, we both stepped off.

"Goodnight," I said, unsure if it was the right thing to say to not only break the silence, but extend a hand of friendship.

Friendship. He's another man, I can't _do_ friendship.

"And to you as well, Ms…," he paused, unsure of what to call me.

"Elle. Ms. Elle." I slid the key in to the slot in my door, and opening it with a swift hand.

"Ms. Elle. Goodnight." He, too, stepped inside his apartment, and we simultaneously closed our doors. His greeting was warm and friendly.

The first thought that came to my mind was how tall he was. He towered over me, where I was 5'7"; he must have been at least 6'. He was a large, but husky man. His face was symmetrical and rather appealing.

I set the books on the couch, taking the Vulcan Cultural History by David Linter and set to reading it.

About three hours later, my stomach rumbled. I looked at the clock.

 _No wonder_ , I thought, _it's nearly 8 at night._

I stood, ready to walk to the fridge, sitting in the small kitchen provided by my teacher's lodging, and realized I'd have to wait a week for my first paycheck, and had to live off of what I brought with me until then. It was a sour feeling, but I had no choice.

Another thought invaded my mind as I sat down with my book once more and began reading.

I needed to stock my fridge. Perhaps I should go shopping tomorrow with my currency card that came with my first loan notification. It would be illogical to spend too much money on food.

Illogical. That's a word I found often while reading on Vulcan culture. Logic is the basis that separates Romulans from Vulcans. Apparently, there was a time of war on Vulcan, between those who believed emotion belonged in the mind, and those who excluded it completely. After a war had ensued for what seemed like eternity for both parties, they had split, content with the fact that they would never resolve their differences, and existed as two separate races.

Knowing this, I decided to take a look tomorrow on different Vulcan fashions and styles, since jewelry had always meant something to Vulcans. I didn't understand my sudden obsession, but ever since I saw Mr. Spock on the bus, it was a new and interesting culture that I didn't understand yet.

But for now, I should sleep. It'll take my mind away from my increasing hunger.


	6. Chapter 6

Ch 6

Breakfast every morning became a regular thing with Jay and I. However, I was running low on money, and I was glad that today would finally be my pay day. I knew that with it, if I could, I would repay Jay for all of the wonderful things she had done for me, either with money, or with treating her.

I used these types of thoughts as a way to try and distract my mind from the fact that from the second night onward of my newfound freedom, I had been getting increasingly difficult nightmares. They began as just being chased by something I couldn't quite grasp. However, meditating on it, I had realized that I felt the same fear as I had the day I ran from my home. The fear I had felt looking in the rear view mirror of Benty's car, and seeing a car pull into the gas station we had just left.

It was _him_ that I was afraid of. _He_ was the one chasing me in my nightmares. Then they became flashbacks to times where he had beaten me. Or, they would be happy memories that turned sour from me slipping up. Putting too much red sauce in the pasta, asking to go to the store twice in one week because we had un-expectantly run out of something.

I took my mind from these thoughts and threw myself into my work every day, trying extra hard to get everything back in order. The library was difficult to manage, and it kept me occupied.

I sat at my desk, checking the study rooms for people doing what they're not supposed to be, when I heard someone clear their throat on the other side of the desk.

"Excuse me," Mr. Spock said, "I need to rent one of the study rooms."

I was shocked. Why would a professor need a study room? Two days in a row? Surly there was a teacher's lounge. However, I didn't question it.

I took a key card from the billboard next to me, and handed it to him, saying, "Floor three, third hall-"

"Sixth room on the right. I understand." Apparently he had already caught on to the instructions I gave him yesterday.

I smiled, as he turned and moved to the turbo lift on the other side of the wall, about ten feet away.

I watched him rise in the lift, which was open-doored. Just before he disappeared, we locked eyes. Then he was gone.

My heart was pounding, and I had no idea why. For some reason, I was blushing, and my heart was racing. Why? Why, why, why?

I skipped through the cameras, watching the door to the room I had just assigned to the rather friendly Vulcan open. He stepped inside, bag in hand, and sat down to reading a textbook. So, he was a professor.

 _What am I doing? It's like I'm stalking him._

I ignored it, breathing to slow my heart. I had to get my head back into my job; otherwise I'd be distracted for the rest of the day. I got up, deciding to put some books on the book lifts.

Around the library, there were ABR's. They were machines which scanned codes on returned books, found their place in the library, and returned them to their original spot. Next to the lift were small slots where you could send books to the correct floor, where it is picked up by an ABR on that floor, and returned.

I stood there, scanning books in and sending them shooting up to the other floors. Others, which were located on the main floor, I would return myself.

I walked around the library, books in hand, returning books to where they belong just to keep myself busy.

As I was putting books away, I walked to an open double-sided bookshelf, which stood out in one of the open sitting areas. It was a book located on the top shelf. Usually, I would have gotten a stool, but I was completely confident that I could reach the shelf on my own. I kind of wanted to prove to myself that I was tall enough to put the books even on the top-most shelf. However, this proved more difficult that I had originally anticipated. I reached, and reached, but I still couldn't get the book to rest on the shelf so I could push it against the back of the shelf.

Suddenly, a cold, large, lanky hand took the book from me and placed it on the top shelf. As this happened, I lost my balance while trying to settle back down, and fell over.

Another arm wrapped around my waist and caught me before I could actually fall onto the ground.

I looked up at my savior, only to notice that it was the same Vulcan I could swear hated my guts.

"You're unharmed?" His words were strung together almost mechanically.

"Yes, I am. Not only do you help me put a book back, but you catch me from falling over. Looks like I have several things to repay you for." I couldn't help but blush slightly.

He _smiled._ Not like a full on toothy-grin, but the edges of his lips curled in at the edges.

He quickly corrected his face, and said plainly, "I was simply able to help you, and I did. I see no reason why that should be rewarded beyond a 'thank you'."

To this, I was taken back. It made my heart race just a little more. The last time I felt like this was before I was married. When I had met _him,_ actually. This was a scary feeling. I didn't like this Vulcan. He reminded me too much of _him_ , or more the feeling I got when I had first met _him,_ and I wasn't about to have another three years of perpetual hell.

My face grew stern, "Thank you, sir. I appreciate the help. However, I must return to my work, if you don't mind."

He was stunned. I could barely notice, but his muscles had tensed slightly, and his brow raised only a hair.

"I see, I apologize for keeping you," and with that, he turned and exited the building.

I glanced at the clock, realizing it was past closing time. I quickly locked up the building. I was already on my way home by the time the Vulcan had gotten to his car. I liked how swift I was at closing up at night.

Nobody ever came in the building after seven at night, just a few stragglers remained, and the door would lock behind them when they left. They were the usual bunch. A brown haired human boy, a _female Ferengi, fully clothed in the Starfleet Uniform,_ and a first-year girl who seemed a little too shy for her own good.

I walked past the parking lot and started down the road. The hover car I had seen the Vulcan get in to sped past me, disappearing behind the hedges of the winding street. I gave a sigh of relief. He was obviously not happy with my change in personality. I wasn't either, considering I should have been cautious from the beginning. Friendliness was something I could manage, as long as physical contact remained out of the equation.

So why my sudden fascination with Vulcan culture? I didn't understand my feelings at all. If I was starting to like Vulcan culture simply because I liked this man, I needed to knock it off. Now.

I reached the complex sooner than I thought I would. Perhaps I'm just used to walking. Perhaps, my mind was just distracted.

Closing the door of my apartment, I sigh inwardly. My mailbox held my first paycheck, which told me how to deposit it, and how to use it as I wished.

I opened my email, noticing three unread emails. One was a generic welcome to Starfleet staff, giving me information that I needed to know, as well as an easy-to-access map to the entire campus that stretched over five square miles.

There were several hundred square yards of road, and even more of lush greenery that was an attempt to make the city seem less urban and more of a rural mix, preserving the country-side and creating an environment that was tranquil and easy to live comfortably in.

I heard yet another rap on my door, similar to the one I heard every morning when it was breakfast time. I get up from my couch and open the door, only to invite the Orion girl in to my apartment.

Jay sat on my couch, after greeting me, and looked at my sparse room. She looked at me and remarked, "It's pretty empty in here, you know."

I nodded, "Yeah, I just got paid today, so I haven't bought anything yet."

"So wait, you didn't have enough money to buy anything until _now?_ You're kidding, right? Who the hell are you?" She giggled, and then continued, "What broke loser takes a job as a librarian to try and make ends meet. How much do you get paid anyway?"

I shrugged, unsure myself. Jay's small insults, I had learned, were her way of showing her love.

"Well, you did get your first paycheck today, right? Well, open it!" She had an air of excitement that never seemed to dull with time.

I strode over to the envelope on the table. It still sat, unopened. I was a little skeptical of myself, since I was in such dire need of money. Why had I not opened it yet? I guess it doesn't matter anyhow.

I opened it hastily, holding a currency card in my hand, which would be the key to my account. I looked down at the paper, and froze.

Nearly $10 an hour had mounted to 40 hours a week, from 8 to 5:30, meant over $400 a week.

So I worked for a good sum of money, working in the building alone.

"Oh good, now you have no reason to have a barren room," Jay's voice was smooth and a little condescending. However, her slight insults were welcome.

"I need a car," was the first words out of my mouth.

"Oh hell no you don't. This campus isn't big enough for any more cars. In fact, I would say that people need to sell their cars, considering how many there are. How about, instead, I take you shopping tomorrow to spruce up the place. You don't have to pay your bills until next month, so you have over a thousand to spend as you please, and honestly," she pauses, gesturing to the space left in my empty room, "You need the money."

"First," I chimed in, "I need some food. Are there any good places to go?"

Jay's face lit up, "I was actually about to go out with some friends to the bar, wanna come?" Her voice rose in pitch as well as volume.

"Hush, hush. My neighbor might get angry if you speak so loudly," I warned, not wanting to make the wrong impression.

Her face followed my gesture, and she replied, "Well I guess we'll just to see what your neighbor has to say about me later, because frankly, I don't care!" Her voice was incredibly loud and obnoxious.

I looked at her, a little unnerved by her utter disregard for what I had just said. However, it was her way, and I didn't exactly care all too much.

"He's a human, right? I saw him on my way up here. He actually drove up just as I entered the building so he was probably getting dinner somewhere.

I looked up at Jay, a little concerned for myself, thinking about how I would have to apologize to the handsome stranger later.

"Hey, so I know you've met my Andorian friend, but you should meet a med student I know. He's pretty cute; I think you'd like him." Her words we accompanied by a small nudge in the side.

"I'm not really into the dating scene," I remarked. I followed quickly with a question, "Well, if you're going out with your friends later, you probably need to get ready to go. I actually want to stay in for a little bit. I'm really worn out."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. If you won't come with me, I'll go alone," she sounded disappointed, but I couldn't bring myself to go with her. I disliked alcohol, and I didn't want to drink it anymore.

Jay left shortly after, but not before making me promise to go shopping with her the next day, which happened to be a weekend, when the library was closed for the good first half of the day.

I flopped back down on the couch, and read the other two emails I had. One was from the library, saying that I had successfully registered as administrator, and the last was just a notification saying I had been sent my currency card and was able to use it the moment it arrived.

I was just about to try the shower for the first time, when a sharp rap came at my door. I quickly put on a shirt and a pair of pants, not bothering to button them since the shirt was hanging too low to see it.

I opened it to see a face I definitely expected to see. A weird look frozen on my neighbor, I sighed.

"Sir, I didn't expect my guest to be so loud, and I didn't mean for her to purposefully piss you off." My words were quick, and I felt embarrassed for myself.

He held up his hand, as if to silence me. There, standing in my doorway, he apologized.

"I came here just to ask that you try to keep her a little more under control. I was trying to think and she interrupted my creative juices." He looked down at my very bothered face, not changing his face to hint at why he was here.

"A-Alright," I said, trying not to let on that my heart was still unusually rapid in its beats.

"So yeah, just try to keep it to a minimum," he said, putting one slender finger to his lips in a _shush_ motion.

I nodded, giggling slightly. "I'll try to keep her antics on the low."

"Okay, thank you. Anyway, I'll see you later!" He turned, and went straight back to his room.

I closed the door, sitting back down and sighing out of my own embarrassment. Jay's complete disregard for other people's space was making her constant presence a nuisance. She was my friend, don't get me wrong. But, perhaps, she wasn't the best friend to hold on to. How do you un-friend someone? I don't like the sound of that. Maybe I'll keep her around anyway.

I guess it's about time I shower. Standing up, I head over to the bathroom beyond the kitchen. The light green walls of the small bathroom were a much fresher color than the dark green of the walls in the apartments.

 _Were all of the walls this color? Because it's honestly such a depressing color._

I stripped down, standing in the shower and welcoming the hot water that poured over my skin. Each time I took a shower, especially in the new apartment, I felt like I was washing away some of my past with it. The feeling of cleanliness washed over me like the suds as they ran down my body. I could only use the Starfleet issue shower gel for everything, but I was completely okay with it.

 _I wonder what classes I'm going to be enrolled into._

I opened the bathroom door after my shower, picking up my PADD and going through some readily-available files. I clicked on the "Starfleet Schedule" tab on the Starfleet interface, and quickly found my schedule layout. I clicked on the "Advanced Phonology" tab, since it was my first class and last class of the week. My curiosity was suddenly spiked. Mr. Spock, my Advanced Phonology teacher, was the same Vulcan I continued to run in to. The same one that stopped me from eating shit in the library. Still enveloped in my curiosity, and scrolled through the information.

I opened another tab, clicking on the "Starfleet Staff" icon. I tapped the "S" button, searching for Mr. Spock's name. Once finding it, I found the information to be brief. It simply stated age, which was 25 ( _very young for a Vulcan),_ his parents' names, Sarek and Amanda, his position at Starfleet, and a quick biography of Mr. Spock.

 _Amanda was a very human name. Sarek, on the other hand, must have been his father._ So. _A_ human _mother and a_ Vulcan _father. That's a sight to behold._

I then clicked on the "biography" tab, which brought up only what I had already seen. His colleges that he had both worked and attended. He was _half_ Vulcan. It said, right here, that his mother was human and his father was a Vulcan.

It certainly explained why he had seemed unlike the image of Vulcans I had put into my head.

I decided to give up on it, and closed the PADD's screens, shutting it off effectively.

Not wanting to delay sleep any longer, I fell into bed and the cold sleep wrapped me fast.


	7. Chapter 7

Ch 7

Shopping with Jay was an excitement. In fact, I had spent quite a bit of money just on the essentials of living. Some new clothes, as well as picking up some Starfleet issue clothes from the administration's office. I picked up bed sheets and some Starfleet issue towels. I then decided to have all of my fridge items delivered to my door, seeing as how getting all of it into Jay's car would have been impossible. This was a welcome distraction from the fact that the nightmares I had had were directly involving _him._

Somehow, while we were out shopping, Jay had gotten me to start smiling with one of her idiotic jokes. Seeing this reaction, she said, "You look much better when you're smiling and not casting your eyes to the ground."

I gave a faint smile, as recognition to the compliment, and we continued on our way.

As we walked, we passed by a store that sold "Vulcan Essentials"

This was a place that sold ritualistic items as well as food and clothes. Obviously not run by a Vulcan, as there were other non-essential items there, but a lot of the things I saw from the window looked authentic.

I gestured Jay inside, where we found Vulcan vegetables, and other things.

"All Vulcan food is very bland. They don't see any reason to season their food, seeing as how taste doesn't matter when you get the required nutrients." She then looked at the enthusiasm in my face, "Why have you become so enthused about Vulcans anyway?"

I just shrugged, "I like the culture."

"Well stop it; you're getting on my nerves, the way you go on about it." She paused for a moment, "Anyway, my friend will be here soon, so we should go to where we said we would meet him."

I nodded, and we walked towards the outdoor area of the shopping center, where we saw a human man sitting, looking around. His face lit up when he saw the both of us. Immediately, I recognized him. He was Ken Narino, the same security boy from the library.

"Hey! I've met you before. It's Elle, right?" His voice was cute and secure.

Jay had a ray of confusion about her. I nod at Kenny's remark, and turn to Jay to answer her confusion, "I've met him before, and he's the security guard for my section of the academy."

"Well, pardon me!" Jay giggled and didn't waste any time gesturing me to the next store.

We store hopped until our feet couldn't hold us any longer. However, no matter what, Kenny couldn't keep his hands to himself. He not only put his arm around Jay's waist constantly, but made advances at me, as well.

With growing frustration, I found that my patience was wearing thin. Finally, it snapped when, in a failed attempt to get me to look at something, James had grabbed both of my shoulders and tried to direct me to whatever he wanted me to look at.

It all came back in a wave of emotions. It was a wave of anger and confusion, sadness and loneliness. I saw _his_ face again, twisted with anger and frustration. He gripped both of my upper arms so hard that I knew they would leave bruises. I froze to my spot, remembering the sound of his voice as he screamed at me. I had just overflowed the toilet while trying to unclog it. It was a simple mistake, and I had tried to fix it. But it wasn't enough for him. He was still frustrated with me, and he continued to scream in my face.

"You can't just grab people!" I was surprised at my own voice, not having the strength to speak like that in years. I forcefully whipped his arms off of me, grabbing them and using them as leverage to push him backwards. I scratched his bare arms, and he stumbled backwards. Crashing into the nearest clothing rack, he knocked over someone who stood behind it. I gazed down at what had just happened. I felt embarrassed suddenly, and could feel the tears forming in my ears. Before anyone could say anything, I turned to leave.

I rushed out of the store, feeling the tears well even more in my eyes. The flash back to _him_ was enough to send me over the edge.

He still controlled me. I was so far away from him, but he still impacted my life. I still cried, remembering him, I woke up in cold sweats every morning because of nightmares I had because of him. He still flashed into my mind, even at the smallest thing that reminded me of him.

I was almost running now, out of the shopping center, out of the shopping section. How could someone just grab people without asking? How could I let myself be treated this way again? I wouldn't, and that's exactly what I told myself the day I left that behind me. It was only over a week ago, only 8 days ago I was still with him. I couldn't make myself get over him just yet. I wouldn't forget him for a long time, if ever. However, I couldn't let my fear control me anymore. Growing past this was something I had to do.

But I just couldn't stand by and be pushed around like that. I refuse to be around that. I had to run. Again.

I found my way back to my building. I swung open the door, hearing a car roll up. I knew it was Jay, trying to console me. But I wanted to be alone. My hands on my face, I rushed to the lift, where I jabbed the button a little too hard. The doors began to close, but just before they did, a hand was thrust in between them.

I slid to the ground, head still in my hands, not wanting to look Jay in the face.

But this wasn't Jay. It wasn't even Kenny.

A hand was held right above my head, just sitting there as the doors closed to the lift, both of us inside.

I looked up through the cracks between my fingers. It was my human neighbor who had pulled up, not Jay. His hand still sat outstretched to me.

I sniffed, unsure whether to take his hand or sink back, rejecting it. Half of me wanted to accept the gesture. He had never truly done wrong to me.

Almost against my own will, I put my hand on his. I refused to make eye contact as he pulled me to my feet. He let go of my hand, and I lost my balance in my emotion once again. I almost fell, but my neighbor caught me, wrapping one arm around me and propping the other on the wall.

"Are you alright?" His words were low and soft. They were soothing, and they made me feel slightly less out of control.

I stand, but he doesn't retract his arm, he leaves it gently resting on my waist, and leaves it until the lift slows to a stop at our floor.

"Can you walk?" His question is a little more stern, but still cautious. I nod, and he continues to hold me up. His fingers grow light on my side, and leave a small tingling sensation on my skin. He walks me to my room, uses my key to unlock the door, and helps me inside, using his foot to close it behind us.

He didn't even know me, and he was helping me like this. This was the first time we actually made physical contact. Somehow, he was inescapable, from the moment I entered the campus. He set me on my couch, and stood there, a little unsure of what to do now.

I slowed my heart rate by trying to breathe. "Why did you help me?" my voice cracked everywhere, trying to remain steady, but failing miserably.

"You were in obvious need of help, why wouldn't I help you?" He stood with his hand gripping his side, obviously unsure of what to do.

"Thank you." My words came out clearly. I looked up at him, and he seemed almost dismissive of me.

"It's no problem of mine. I simply saw you stumbling in this direction, an assumed you needed some help. So, I helped you. I just don't understand why you were crying. Are you okay?" He paused, and then continued, "It's really none of my business. I should be going anyway. I hope you feel better." His voice was soft and sympathetic

As he turned to leave, I grabbed his Starfleet issue shirt, which reflected that of a student. He turned to face me, and I looked him dead in the eyes, "Thank you."

It was all I could say, really. I couldn't tell a random stranger any of what had happened without telling them all of it. I wasn't about to place that type of trust into someone I didn't even know the name of. Perhaps, if I had the courage, I would ask.

"Wait," I stopped him before he closed the door to my apartment. He re-entered my room, looking at me with a quizzical expression. "What's your name?"

"James T. Kirk."


	8. Chapter 8

Ch 8

The rap on my door the next morning woke me from the fear-inducing sleep. It was the familiar knock that Jay used to signal it was time for breakfast. However, this time, I decided not to answer. It was my day off, and I was definitely not leaving my home. I was going to wait for my things to be delivered, and read.

The rap came again, this time, stronger. Then again. And again. I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. I didn't care what she offered me; I didn't want her near me. How she could let someone do to her what Nasino did, I didn't understand. Though she had been nice to me from day one, I didn't want to associate with people who let others walk all over them. I wasn't like that anymore, and I would never be again.

This time, it was a bang on my door. Followed by a very exasperated Jay saying, "Elle, I know you're in there, and I'm really hungry, so hurry the hell up!"

After she realized that I wasn't going to eat with her this morning, I assumed she already left. I finally sat up in bed, and grabbed my PADD. On it, I tapped on the email button. I had only one new email. It was, in fact, from my friendly neighbor who had helped me yesterday.

 _Ms. Elle,_

 _I just wanted to say that I hope you're feeling better. I was kind of contemplating asking you myself, but I heard someone at your door this morning, so I assumed it would be better to email you. We should grab lunch today, it could give us an opportunity to talk. We don't have to talk about anything in particular, but I assumed that if we are going to be neighbors, and are going to keep bumping into each other, we might as well be friends._

 _Kirk_

 _P.S. If you're wondering how I got your email, it's stored in the school logs. I'm not creepy, I swear._

Well, that was up front. I guess I did need some new friends, so I responded with a small email explaining my wish to get lunch sometime as well. After I sent it, I sat in bed for a little while longer. I needed something to keep myself busy, and since classes started soon, I wouldn't have time for anything long term. I decided to sit down to a good book and wait until a response to my email came. Or, perhaps, until my stuff was delivered. I had gone shopping and picked up essentials for the next week. The semester started the next Monday, so I needed to be ready. Along with eating essentials, I had gotten all of my school supplies before we had gone pleasure-shopping. It had been years since I went shopping without _him._

 _No, you're done thinking about him. The sooner you get him out of your head, the sooner you can start over. This place is a place to wash away what had happened those past few years. Your new start._

A knock was heard at my door. I was pulled from my thoughts, and forced to put on real clothes to answer the door. Instead of it being a delivery person, or Kirk, I found the denobulan woman that I had suddenly run out on the other day.

"Elle, we need to talk."


	9. Chapter 9

Ch 9

Friendships, I knew, were things I needed if I were to make it through the year unscathed. Not only that, but the last few years of only one person in my life had left me lonely and in need of some sort of compensator.

However, my friends were my choice, and I was choosing to not be friends with Jay. She had been nice to me, but she was not the type of influence I wanted. I had locked the door in her face and ignored her constant banging on my door for the following half an hour.

Being reminded of exactly why I was here, and the banging on the door, had brought me back to tears. I sat in bed, still in day clothes, crying.

My own melodrama was upsetting me. I was like a shitty teenager.

For a few hours at least, I had spent my last day before the semester crying and avoiding the only friend I had managed to make.

 _Well, other than James T. Kirk._

I picked up my PADD, shortly after Jay had left, and promptly invited James to dinner, along with any other friends he could think of to bring.

Almost immediately, I got a message back. And, it seemed that I was going out to eat with James and his friends later that night.

I stood, walking into the bathroom and up to the mirror. I looked myself in the face, and looked at my long brown hair. I looked into my own eyes.

I had obviously been crying for quite some time. It was evident with my puffy eyes and my water-streaked face. Again, I gazed at my hair, and felt tied down by the shield that was the plates of hair around my face.

Walking into the kitchen, I picked up one of the few knives that came with the apartment. I walked back into the bathroom, and hastily cut the locks of hair from my head.

In fact, I cut it so short that I almost looked like a boy. The new hair gave me a sexy new confidence that I hadn't felt in a long time. No transition from one stage in my life to another is complete without a drastic haircut.

It took about half an hour to get it to a satisfactory level. It was only about a centimeter of length from the crown of my head down, and had gradually lifted to five inches into the top of my head. I then took some water and moved it around, until it was perfect for how I felt. I felt like it was a little ragged, but it actually looked really good. I never once thought that I could pull off short hair, and I never got the chance to before.

I looked at the locks of hair littering the bathroom. I do my best to sweep it up with my hands, and leave the rest to clean up when all of my supplies gets to my apartment.

Walking into the bedroom part of my tiny apartment, I go to my small supply of casual clothes still sitting in the duffle bag I had brought with me. I pull out some jeans and a light purple blouse. I quickly dress, and sit down, content with reading until dinner came around. I would put on makeup when it came close to the time they wanted to meet.

Again, I find myself gravitating to a book actually in Vulcan, which I had checked out previously. Learning languages was easy for me, considering my abnormal memory.

Reading the book, I notice a lack in creative, artistic imagery. Typical, I guess. Only state what's necessary for the book.

Sooner than I liked, it the clock beeped 6 in the evening. I marked where I was in the book, and stood to put on my makeup. I only had foundation and mascara, but it was better than nothing. My face was usually only sparsely dotted with acne, but the redness of the sun from years on the farm had made my acne dissipate. It's just that redness I had to get rid of.

I was ready and waiting for a knock on my door. As if on cue, a few minutes after our designated meeting time, a small knock echoed in the sparse apartment.

As I opened the door, I was greeted with the familiar face of James Kirk. He looked frustrated, his brow furrowed. But, his smile was still present, so I didn't ask, assuming he just had a small inconvenience.

"Holy shit, your hair," Kirk says, all looks on his face disappearing.

"Decided I needed a trim, ready to go? I'd assume so, since you're at my door," I say, disregarding his focus on my hair.

"Yeah, let's go," he says, as I lock my door and we leave.

"I got to warn you," Kirk says, as he turns to pull out of the campus, "Some of my friends are a little rowdy, especially when they're drunk."

"So this place serves alcohol?" My question was the only one I could think of at the moment.

"Yeah, it's one of the most famous bars in the city. You didn't know that?" He glances my way.

"No. As a matter of fact, I don't exactly like bars. But its fine, it doesn't really matter. As long as they don't do anything stupid. Will you be drinking?" I wanted to make sure I had a ride home.

"No, I'm driving." He seemed a little peeved at this. Obviously, he wanted to be drinking.

"I don't drink alcohol, so if it makes you feel better, and if you trust me to drive your car, I can drive us home. Besides, we live next to each other so getting you home won't be hard." I offer, not sure if I'm really accustomed to driving in the city.

"You'd really do that?" He looked a little amazed.

"Yeah, why not? I mean, it's not like I'll be drinking." I lean against the door of the car.

"Well, yeah, you can keep my keys as well," he says, pulling into a small parking lot and shutting off the car.

We get out, and he throws the keys at me. I fumble and drop them, quickly turning around and bending over to pick them up. A low whistle comes from James's direction. I blush and jolt up, avoiding eye contact.

"Ladies first," Kirk says, opening the door to the busy bar. I walk inside, not knowing what to expect.


	10. Chapter 10

Ch 10

I was taking a risk, being here. Drunken people, though I lived with one for years, were not the type of people I liked to associate with.

James was riding a buzz, not looking to get totally wasted, but that is more than I can say for his friends. They were drinking heavily, making a ruckus as they drank, played games, and tried to show each other up.

There were five of us. James, Thomas, Ikan, Evan, and I. They were fairly nice people to start out with, but as soon as they knocked their drinks back, the conversation turned more and more rude.

I would leave, but I was James's ride, and I couldn't just take his car and leave. I began to wonder how the other three would get home. Would I have to drive them, as well? I hoped not, because it was hard enough dealing with them when we were in an open bar, but in a car? I'm not so sure if I could hold back from smacking the stupid looks right off of their faces.

"So," Ikan said, in a low voice, "Do you have a boyfriend, Al?"

"It's Elle. And I don't feel like I should answer that question, you know? Considering that's a line often used to pick people up. And honestly, I don't think you're capable of picking up a glass of water, let alone me," I said, as the others cheered at my "epic burn".

Ikan wasn't bad looking, for a Ferengi. However, they weren't really my cup of tea. I didn't exactly like he had earlier tried to trick me out of the earrings I was wearing.

"Well," he stammered, trying to recover. His judgment was obviously impaired, as he couldn't even formulate a proper response.

In all honesty, I picked that line from a book I had read. But, they all didn't seem very literate drunk _or_ sober, so I took the chance to use it.

I noticed James sitting at the bar, talking to an Orion woman. She was absolutely beautiful, with short curly orange hair. I would go up and talk to him, but they seemed to be talking deeply, so I simply excused myself to the bathroom for a while.

When I returned, the Orion girl was gone, and James was just sitting by the bar. I walk up, not really sure if he's in a good mood.

"Hey, when did you want to leave?" I asked, sitting where the Orion girl was.

"Any time, really. I'm getting a little bored and my buzz is wearing off." He looked a little agitated.

"Alright, we can leave now if you want. Are your friends going to need rides home?" I was so hoping he would say no. I really wanted to go home and read, or go to sleep.

"Nah, they'll be fine. Let's go."

"Hey, do you want to come inside for some coffee or something?" James caught me off guard.

"Wow, you must have drunk a lot," I said, unlocking his room for him.

"I'm serious." The door stood slightly ajar. I locked in his gaze, and only one thing shown in his eyes, and that was lust.

Before I could say anything, he gripped both sides of my face and kissed me. I could taste his alcohol. His grip was tight, and felt forced. I didn't kiss him back, and I immediately became scared.

Over and over he hit me, pushing me into the bedroom. The afternoon air hung everywhere, as well as the stale smell of beer and corn. I was back in my old home in the Midwest. _His_ face flashed in my mind. Angry and drunk, he pushed me to the ground, and kneeled over me. He squeezed the sides of my now bloody face, and kissed me, forcefully. His drunken lips slobbered and kissed mine. I fought back with what little strength I had compared to his. At this, he picked me up, and tossed me onto the bed, watching me lay helpless there while he unbuckles his belt. I feel fear, anger, and helplessness.

I push him off of me, fairly easily, and hit him as hard in the face as I can. The door to his room swings open and he lands just inside, obviously unconscious. I'm back in the housing building, and I had just landed a right jab into the side of James's face. He was out, cold, obviously way more drunk than he had originally let on. I hadn't punched him that hard, either.

I hold my hands to my face, and cover my mouth, afraid that I was going to start crying right in the middle of the hallway. I quickly shut the door, lock his door, and open my own just down the hall as I began to cry. The tears stung my eyes as I opened the door in a hurry. I quickly shut it, and lock it, then slide to the floor and let the tears roll out.

I need to stop freaking out at every little thing that happens. That was completely crazy, what I did. I can't even control myself, and if I can't control myself, how will I be able to get my degree?

This is out of control.

I wake up from the light leaking through my window, and an aching in my head.

But I didn't drink last night.

I open my eyes to a wrecked bedroom, with me on the floor, wrapped in sheets and still wearing half of what I was wearing the night before. I didn't have any shoes or a shirt on.

I look around, remembering the panicked frenzy I flew in to. My anger got the better of me. However, I don't remember much after getting in to my apartment.

I stand up, stripping and putting on the Starfleet uniform for the students. I would clean, but I just didn't feel like it. I felt like eating, and that's all I wanted to do. Walking into the main room, I notice James's keys sitting on my coffee table. _Shit._

I need to return those. But first, breakfast. It was after 10 in the morning, but I didn't care. I would have a late lunch.

I open my now fully stocked fridge, and pull out eggs.

Halfway into making my breakfast, I hear a knock at my door. I quickly run over, unlock it, and open the door.

"Hey, come in," I say, greeting James at the door. I run back over to the stove.

"Want some eggs?" My question was meant to be light hearted, but it felt forced and weighted.

"Yeah, that would be great, actually," he replies, obviously hung over.

"They're going to be scrambled, so I hope you like that. How do you feel?" I was obviously talking about his hangover, and the fact that his face had swollen where I hit him.

I turn around to pop some bread into the toaster, and see him sit on my couch, holding his head. "I'm fine, but I hurt like hell," he says. He then looks at me, and asks, "Hey, how did I get this huge thing on the side of my face? Don't tell me I hit on a girl and she hit me."

"Your buddies were a little rough," was all I said. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the answer to his question, either.

"Ah, I see," he replies, obviously accepting this half lie.

We eat at the small table I had in the corner, and when we finish, I pick up James's keys from my coffee table and drop them in front of him.

"Ah, I was wondering where they were," he says, picking them up and putting them in his pocket.

"Is that what you came here for?" I put our dishes in the sink, not bothering to wash them, since I would be leaving to go to work soon.

"I wanted to know why you hit me last night. I mean, I understand that I kissed you out of the blue, but you started shaking and then nailed me right in the face. You were crying, too," James says, looking at me dead in the face.

 _Shit._

"Well, when you were squeezing my face so hard, I thought you might hurt me in your obviously drunken state," I said, knowing that I was caught. I stuttered, but it was obvious why.

"Ah, I see. Well, I have things to do so; I'll talk to you later. Thanks for breakfast." With that, he stands from the table and leaves.

"Bye," I say, just before the door closes.

Well, I've been caught red handed. I lied.

I quickly gather my stuff, knowing I'll have to leave soon if I am to make it to work on time. Maybe, just maybe, I'll see the Mr. Spock again. After all, I _am_ in one of his classes this upcoming semester.

 _Dear lord, what is my obsession all of a sudden with Vulcans?_

I look towards the clock, and decide to leave early for my shift. Maybe I'll have time to look around for a new book.

 _Maybe I'll have time to talk to my professor._


End file.
